Tossing It Read online

  He bends my knees up and I have a brief flash of the last time I was getting my yearly exam, and laugh. “What’s funny?” Leif asks, his big hands on my knees spreading my legs apart, hands gliding down my thighs. “This moment is anything but funny for me.”

  To lie, or to tell the truth and ruin this? Lie. Definitely lie. “Kiss me,” I order instead.

  He hikes himself up, settles his clothed body on top of mine, between my legs, and presses his lips to mine. “This has to be the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in a kitchen,” Leif says, a sly grin on his face. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I silence him with my tongue against his. My mind is void of anything else except for him, and I’ve never, in my entire life, felt such relief and freedom. Everything else can slip through my fingers, but he’s here. Firmly planted in my reality, and I have to blink a few times to make sure this is real.

  He pulls away and pushes up on his arms to look down at me. His lips are glistening and red from our punishing kisses. “I’ve seen hotter things in my kitchen,” I admit, smiling, to break the sexual tension.

  “Yeah?” Leif asks, quirking one beautifully edible brow. “Who?”

  “Not a who. A what,” I reply, biting my bottom lip in a smile. “Pots and pans. Boiling water, hot oil sizzling and popping. You know? Normal kitchen stuff.”

  “I’ll sizzle your ass. And pop it,” he replies, laughing a short burst, his eyes crinkling in the corner. Leif uses one arm to roll me to my side a bit, and then swats my ass playfully. I grab him around his neck and let my legs lock around his waist.

  Scooting back, he pulls us off the island and moves to the other room to lay me down on the couch. Goosebumps rise on my skin as the air conditioning hits every exposed, vulnerable piece of skin. Leif kneels in front of me and puts my legs on his shoulders. “I need to taste you everywhere,” he says, swallowing hard, meeting my eyes. It’s a question.

  “Yes,” I say, a zing of anticipation striking, my heart rate picking up. “Only if you’re good at it,” I tease.

  “It’s been a while,” he replies. “I think I can manage an orgasm or two. Just a guess.” My core clenches as his lips glide down my inner thigh and land exactly where I want them. The cold bereft feeling is replaced by heat, his kisses, and a slick wetness as his tongue folds up and down in a steady rhythm. I sigh and grab his hair as he attacks the task at hand like he was born to only do one thing. The pleasure that was already there from merely kissing him skyrockets into something so pure, full, and mind-bending that I can’t describe what he’s making me feel. Never have I felt so out of control. Leif makes a ravenous noise and closes his eyes like he’s feasting on his last meal. It’s unthinkable indulgence, a man wild with lust, offering everything he has. His hands wrap around my thighs and he uses them to pull me onto his tongue, inserting it as far inside me as he can, all the while his finger is circling my clit in a steadily increasing manner. I come undone, my legs tightening and the fiery orgasm hitting me, the pulsing waves felt from the tips of my toes to the top of my head.

  He digs his face into me harder as I come, not wanting to miss a second of my pleasure. My mind is still fuzzy when he finishes, kissing my core once, long and hard. I clench again in response. Lifting my head to look at him is almost too much work. “Oh my gosh,” I say, in between ragged breaths. “That was the hottest thing that’s ever happened in the living room,” I say. “No jokes there.”

  “Good,” Leif replies, licking his lips. “Felt okay?” he asks, eyes wide.

  “You were lying. It has been a long time since you’ve done that,” I ask incredulously. When he doesn’t reply, I say, “I’ve never had an orgasm that strong…ever. The only thing that could have made it better would be if you were inside me while it happened.”

  His eyes go feral, and he swallows hard. “Do you want that?”

  “What do you think? Honesty is the best policy, and I’m not lying,” I say, teasing my legs open, so he can see the slick mess he just created. “I’ve probably never wanted a dick more.” Biting my bottom lip, I let my naughty words soak in. He wanted to see how bad I can be. There aren’t walls between us. I think maybe there never was. From the moment I met him, I laid it all on the table. I didn’t give him excuses or lies about my real world. Exposed in every way, he took it all and continued to pursue me.

  Sliding my hand between my legs, I wait for his gaze to follow my fingers, and then rub the wetness once, dragging a trail up my stomach and up to my breasts. He leans over and takes a nipple into his mouth. He’s unbuttoning his pants with one hand. “I really did want to be gentlemanly, Malena,” he rasps at my chest. “You deserve so much more.”

  He says things like this, things that don’t make any sense. He is the walking definition of a perfect catch. “Leif, this is the best thing you can possibly do for me today. I need this more than I need a day date. Be with me,” I say, pulling his face up to mine. When his blue eyes are locked with mine, I grab his bottom lip with my teeth. I shake my head no and release his lip. “This is what I want from you right now. Can you help me? You don’t say no when I ask for help, right?”

  He grins, and it makes me hyper-aware of where his hands are, where his steely shaft is. “Do you want to go to your bedroom now?” he asks. “Least I can do is make our first time a little more memorable...or comfortable.”

  “You don’t get it,” I say. “You are memorable. Everything about you is memorable. I’ll never forget one kiss.”

  Leif stands and removes his shirt and shorts in a speed that doesn’t seem human. Then he leans over to pick me up and sets me on my feet in front of him. I can’t help but admire his Adonis-like physique. He’s so tall. The opposite of me in almost every way physically. His skin a pale shade compared to my own. His blond hair. Mine dark. We stand there in front of each other for several seconds, just looking at each other. The chemistry flying off the charts, my hands itching to reach out and take his girth in my hand. Leif breaks the fiery silence first.

  “While that may be so, I still want to fuck you in your bed. That’s what I’ve been thinking about since the moment I saw it.” He shakes his head. “You have me. You have me so completely.” Taking in the weight of his words, I try to formulate the right thing to say, but I can’t.

  I nod instead. “Let’s go.”

  He wastes no time scooping me into his strong arms. I wrap my legs around his waist and kiss his neck, trailing my tongue up to his ear. When we’ve made it to my bedroom, Leif only has one thing on his mind. “How do you want it?” he asks. “I’m tall. You’re small. Tell me how you want it before I take you any which way I can.”

  I kiss his lips once. “I want to taste your lips while you’re inside me.”

  He nods, eyes falling closed. “That’s a really good plan,” he says, sucking in a jagged breath. “Let’s execute it right now.”

  Chapter Nine

  Leif

  It’s surpassed a want and entered the realm of need. I need to possess Malena in every possible way right now. If I were to list in order the things I need for survival, fucking her would be first on the list, above oxygen. I can hold my breath for a few minutes. I’ll be good.

  Setting her down on the edge of the bed, I let her wet pussy slide down my abs as I lower her ass. She sighs a sexy fucking noise that sends a jolt to my cock. When I came over here, I was worried about her. Malena wasn’t answering my calls and no one could get ahold of her, not even Garden Breeze. My intentions were to make sure she was okay and be on my way. I wanted to give her more time to process everything that happened over the past few days.

  As I gaze down at her naked body, I realize just how awry my plan has gone. Her skin, every inch, is flawless. Malena’s body is this pint-sized playground that has been taunting my dreams. It’s been months, hell, maybe even a year since I’ve been with a woman. One that I’m this attracted to? That’s never happened.

  “I want this to be the hottest thing that’s ever happened in your bedroom, but you�
��re so fucking hot it may be short-lived,” I admit, licking my lips.

  “So that means you don’t want me to suck your dick first?”

  I shake my head no, even if my cock is nodding in opposition. “You’re on birth control?” I grind out, my erection in my hand, ready. This is probably the only intelligent thing I’ve asked today and I’m surprised I’m functioning enough to bring it up. Whether her answer matters at this point is another matter entirely. I don’t have a condom on me. I don’t own any. Not because I didn’t think it was going to happen, but because I didn’t think it was going to happen yet.

  Malena sits straight up. “I…uh…yeah, I’m on birth control,” she stammers. “You don’t have to worry about that.” She swallows hard and meets my gaze. “I promise,” Malena adds, a deceptive gleam to her eye. She goes on to tell me she hasn’t slept with anyone in a long time, giving me way more information than I want or need about birth control to regulate irregular cycles, in the fashion I’ve come to expect from her.

  “Malena,” I say. “Enough. My dick’s getting soft talking about STDs.” I’ve already told her I get tested at work constantly for everything under the sun. That came up in conversation last week.

  She giggles and that has a reverse effect. “I want you. I don’t want a family,” I say, shaking my head. “I trust you if you say you’re on birth control, and I hate to be the horny bastard to break my own rules about two forms of baby blockers. I don’t have a condom. You okay with that?”

  “You’re breaking your own rules? I’m okay with that,” Malena coos, raising a brow and leaning back on the bed. “You lose some street cred, but I can live with it,” she adds.

  I grin. “I can earn it back,” I reply, touching her lower stomach and trailing my fingers between her legs. Malena closes her eyes and murmurs a contented sigh. “Open your eyes,” I command.

  She does as I ask. “Can we get back to the plan,” she says, her words a breathless plea. “Kissing and filling.”

  Swallowing down hesitation, I kiss her hard—opening her mouth with my tongue. Positioning myself between her legs, I tease her entrance with the head of my dick and relish the slick, warm sensation. There’s no other feeling that compares to this, the moment in which you enter a woman. This fucking feeling of nirvana is why nations have fallen, and good men have done bad things. I press into her slowly, letting her adjust as I kiss her. “How’s that?” I ask.

  She nods her approval while wrapping her legs around my waist, and bringing my lips back to hers. When I’m buried inside her, stretching her fully, I let my head fall into the nape of her neck, breaking our mouths. “You feel so good,” I whisper, as I begin thrusting, driving my cock into her tight body. Malena matches my thrusts, taking everything I’m giving in stride.

  “Fuck me harder,” she says, grazing my ear with her teeth. It’s in that moment that I know I won’t last long. Not when she’s saying all the right things, and looking the way she does, like she was made for me and me alone.

  Cupping her face with one hand, I look down at her while I pick up the pace, thrusting into her as hard as I can. The loving sweet pace, all but forgotten in favor of straight up fucking. Our sexual chemistry has exploded, our desire winning over practicality. I’m filling her, she’s clinging to me, moaning, chanting my name. I’m focused on not coming, trying to block out the desperate tenor of her voice. She announces she’s almost there as she clings to my shoulders, positioning herself so her clit is rubbing against the base of my shaft each time I enter her deeply. Keeping my mind on my pace, not on her pussy gripping my cock like a vise, I watch her come undone beneath me. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes closed. Malena in this state is something to behold. I’ve never watched a woman as closely as I watch her while she comes, never cared other than it would be my turn next, and it does something to me. Something I’m not ready to admit. A deeper acknowledgment that someone else is more important. Another person is above me in the hierarchy of my own life, and I have no fucking clue how or why it happened.

  It happens fast, and I’m lost in watching her and analyzing every nuance that makes Malena so entrancing when I come hard. Deep and rough inside her small body. It’s not a, hey, I jacked off for fun because I was bored type of load. It is waves of hot bursts so intense, my face screws up as I ride the pleasure. I collapse on top of her, holding the majority of my weight off her with my elbows. I breathe into her neck, sucking in Malena tinged oxygen over and over. I feel her chest rising and falling under me and we stay like that for a long time, me still inside her, the whole experience of claiming her more than I can fully process in one sitting. I broke so many of my own rules. Not the ones I gave Malena, rules I’ve held myself to for as long as I’ve been dating.

  I roll off her minutes later and stare at the ceiling. Clearing my throat, I wait for her to say something. Anything. Did that feel as fucking life changing for her as it did for me? Her ceiling fan is wobbling at a slow speed and I can hear gulls cry outside in the distance. Seconds tick on. Malena catches her breath and I start to wonder how big of a mistake I just made. She must be upset.

  “You okay?” I ask.

  “Still trying to figure out why that was so amazing,” she replies, rolling toward me on her side, moving one hand on my chest over my heart. It’s warm. “That was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

  “Me too,” I reply, holding her hand. Before it gets awkward, I have to address the elephant in the room. “I, uh, didn’t mean to…without a condom on, that is,” I ramble, my face heating. “We can grab the morning-after pill when we leave here. To be safe,” I add. Real fucking gentlemanly, man. Fuck. “If you want.”

  She smiles—it reaches her eyes. “You really don’t want kids? That wasn’t a line?”

  Her question takes me aback. This isn’t a topic of conversation I’ve ever broached with a woman before. How to prevent kids? Yes. Always. Having kids? “No. It’s never been something I felt the desire to do. They seem like more work than I have time for, you know?” I want to ask if she wants kids, but most women do, and I really want to stay in this lust fog a little while longer.

  Malena nods, eyes steely with resolve. “I don’t need the morning-after pill. I’ll never need it. No matter how much come you can funnel inside me.” Malena giggles. “I can’t have kids. They’ve run a bunch of tests to make sure and things don’t work.” Her gaze darts to her hand on my chest. “I don’t tell people usually. I’m sorry. It’s not something I think about very often, but when you mentioned birth control and come, and morning-after pills, I figured I might as well tell you. I hope you don’t think I’m being too forward.” Too forward? She’s my motherfucking dream girl. Add one more thing to the list of things of why she’s my one and only match.

  Rolling toward her so we’re face to face, I say, “Never apologize for something you can’t change, Malena, or for being honest. I appreciate your honesty and if we’re being frank, that fact only makes me want you more.” I cup her face and press my lips against hers in a passionate kiss. “It’s like you were made for me,” I say, brushing my lips against hers.

  “I was thinking something of the same when you said you didn’t want kids. I’m glad this conversation is out of the way.”

  “Why,” I ask. “I can put all of my come inside you whenever I want?” I smirk, my hand wandering between her wet thighs—the evidence of my mistake.

  She nods, eyes closed. “That, and so you don’t have to worry about your rule.”

  “Fair point,” I reply. “Want to fuck one more time? I’ve been wanting to get inside you since that first night on the beach.” My whole life. “Once isn’t near enough.” I’ll never have enough of you.

  Malena slings a leg over my waist and my dick hardens again. “I was thinking a couple more times, actually. If you can hang,” she says, taking me into her hand and guiding me inside her slick folds. I jut my hips up and watch my cock disappear into her body. Then she starts riding me, hands splayed on my abs, faci
al features in a state of rapture as she works her hips.

  With my hands free, I palm her breasts and caress her waist and hips. I let her set the pace and just enjoy the view. She isn’t alone. Nor is she sad. Perhaps I am being a gentleman after all.

  ______________

  “Did you see her in the garden?” Malena asks, shaking her head. “I haven’t seen her that happy in years. I would have put in a garden at my house, you know? If I didn’t worry about her wandering away anytime she went out there.” She casts her gaze skyward at the sunset beyond the dock at my house. The visit at Garden Breeze was short and sweet, long enough to confirm that not only is Ms. Winterset settling in, she’s happy there. One of the nurses told Malena that typically this kind of move is harder on the family members than it is on the patient. “I should have done this sooner. God, it’s been years that she’s been miserable at home.” Malena shakes her head, damning herself to an eternity in hell.

  “You couldn’t possibly know she’d be this happy elsewhere. She was really enjoying herself at Garden Breeze, though. There’s no reason to worry about her. That’s for sure.” Ms. Winterset didn’t recognize Malena today. A fact that almost made it easier when it was time to leave. I tried to let her visit without my presence, hanging in the lobby area, dodging the women trying to flirt with me at the front desk. Malena left her mother a stationary set and a handwritten note. Ms. Winterset likes to write letters when she has flashes of clarity, and Malena hoped the letter would ease her mother in case she remembered that she’d been dropped off at Garden Breeze and left by herself in a strange new world. I walk up behind her and set my beer down on the railing.

  “Do you like to garden?” I broach, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.