Lust in Translation (Harbour Point SEAL Series Book 1) Read online

  This is exactly what I meant when I told Juliet of the hot moments sprinkling into the dark, cold matter of our marriage. They’re so out of place. Forced. “Hey, we have company,” I say, spinning out of his grasp to set the vase on the island. A line appears between Adam’s eyes. I wink at him. That doesn’t ease his annoyance. I should be annoyed. I lost that right, I guess.

  I grab a beer from the fridge, offer my darling husband one, and walk straight into Juliet and Leo’s conversation. About soul mates. I choke on a sip of my drink and I let out a nervous laugh as Juliet asks, “I mean it, though. What is it about someone that makes them a soul mate? I don’t know that I believe it.” She pauses, looks at me, wincing a little. “I’d like to believe it, but even you acknowledge it’s a hard sell.”

  Adam wanders over. My heart leaps into my throat and the fight or flight response practically bowls me over. “Appetizers?” I nearly shout.

  Leo turns to look at me, smirking. Juliet jumps, and it looks as if my voice has actually frightened Adam. Leo turns to give his attention back to Juliet and says, “When you have a person. Friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever. Then life, by whatever means, gives that same person a purpose in your life. That makes a soul mate.”

  Juliet nods. Adam guffaws. He walked over after the question was asked, so he doesn’t know what he walked in on. “Well, this is a deep conversation,” Adam says, swigging his beer. I drain mine.

  Juliet, bless her heart, keeps on. I’ll kill her later. “What if the purpose isn’t a healthy one?”

  “Then they’re not soul mates. That’s an easy one.”

  If I tell them both to shut up, I’ll look like I’m uncomfortable with the conversation, which I am, so I make the decision to join in when the time arises. Leo looks at me, and then to Adam. “When did you both know that you were soul mates?” he asks.

  Juliet shuffles, looks down, and excuses herself to get another beer. She asks if anyone else needs one before she goes.

  “I’m afraid I’ve had a few too many of these to speak on soul mates tonight,” I say.

  “Come on, Ken. When did we know?” Adam says, clearing his throat. I’d think he’d be just as anxious as I am for a change of subject. “Was it when you peed on the stick or was it when you dragged me to the courthouse?” Adam laughs, and raises his beer, waiting for Leo to clink bottles with him. He doesn’t. Leo leaves Adam hanging awkwardly and it’s both pleasing and terrifying at the same time.

  “That’s rude,” I counter.

  Juliet butts in. Easy to leave, but eager to defend me when need be. “That was a dick thing to say. Your circumstances aren’t like everyone else’s. Don’t put her on the spot like that.” Now would be the time to remind her she’s the reason we’re talking about this awful subject to begin with.

  “Feeding off what Callaway said,” Adam edges. “What’s my purpose in your life?”

  This is test day. It’s multiple choice. I didn’t study. The plan was to mark B all the way down the Scantron and pray for a miracle. I shrug, and offer a meek, “To make me happy.” That covers all the bases. I take Leo’s empty bottle from his hand and walk back to the kitchen.

  No one says anything else on the subject, and for that I’m thankful. I’m worried I’m going to hear all about it tonight. In Adam’s room. In his bed. Conversation is safe throughout dinner. We talk about work. Leo and I make a couple jokes in Spanish. Just enough banter to not make anyone else feel left out, but not too much that anyone thinks we have inside jokes. I clean up, staring out the kitchen window. Juliet dries the plate I pass her. She apologizes for earlier and asks me if I’m going to decapitate Adam.

  I laugh. She laughs, but the smile is short lived. “We need to talk tonight. Really have a heart to heart.”

  “That bad?” I counter.

  “No. Things are just as I suspected.”

  I nod. I can’t do anything else right now. Adam and Leo are talking about the cat. The only safe subject they have in common. “I’ll brace myself.”

  Juliet snaps me with the towel and we both laugh. When the exchange is over, we find both Adam and Leo looking at us. At me. I press my lips together. “Dessert anyone?”

  Both men respond with a firm, taut, “Yes, please.”

  I swallow hard and take the cake stand out to the island and cut the exact number of pieces. The room spins a bit as all of tonight’s alcohol seems to hit me at once. I haven’t been drunk since the weekend after Noel died. It was not a good night so I’ve tried to avoid this type of numbness at all costs. Tonight, I’ll face it head on, evidently.

  “Why couldn’t Avery make it?” I ask, voice a bit sloppy, when we’re all eating dessert.

  Leo clears his throat. “I thought it best if she didn’t come.”

  Adam keys in immediately. “Why is that?”

  Leo meets my eyes and I know he’s going to tell Adam what he wants to hear. My heart pounds out a warning. You’re going to be found out! Leo’s steely gaze meets Adams. “She has the flu. Wouldn’t want her infecting anyone.”

  Adam deflates, disappointed in the answer. “Tell her we missed her tonight.”

  How did she get the flu, Leo? How did she get the flu? White lace panties. White lace panties. White lace panties on your floor. My eyes are filled with accusation as I meet Leo’s gaze. He looks away. I read him so well that it’s the same thing as admitting to it.

  “Could have been you, Kendall. You lucked out!” Adam exclaims, licking frosting off his fork.

  I quirk one brow. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  Juliet sighs out a long breath. I smell cake. That’s what I’m going to associate white lace panties to now. Cake. Vanilla. “You brought over that soup, remember? Could have picked up the virus on a multitude of things. A doorknob, the counter, anything you touched.” Adam waves his fork around.

  Leo laughs. “She was careful when she stopped by.” Ever the pragmatic.

  Adam swallows—a jerky movement of his neck. “I’m sure she was careful.”

  “Tell Avery we’ll catch her next time for sure,” Juliet adds. “The flu is really bad this year. Tell her to get the vaccination next year. You, too.” She sends a pointed look at Leo. “The medical studies are actually compelling. The vaccines work.”

  A blessed change of subject. Tomorrow my whole body will ache from holding this rigid, on-edge posture all night. “They try to make me every year,” Leo says. “I don’t like putting anything in my body that I don’t know the origins of.”

  “It’s worth the risk,” Juliet argues. “Do you recall how awful you felt a few days ago? That could have been avoided completely.”

  Leo explains his way around getting the vaccine so well that everyone is convinced of his reasons for not getting it. He’s one of those charismatic people who can take anything and turn it into something else entirely. How do they do that? Sheer will? My life wouldn’t resemble a soap opera if I had his skill. As he talks, he picks up our empty dessert plates and brings them into the kitchen. He dumps them into the sink.

  “I’ll clean up later. Please don’t worry about that,” I say, approaching him from the side. I don’t mean to get as close as I do, but my shoulder brushes against his and I lean away so quickly you’d think he’d burned me. “Here,” I say, reaching for the sponge, trying to move him away.

  Leo grins down at me, and for the first time all night, my shoulders relax. Another skill of his—forcing his calming presence on me like a salve. “I can wash plates.” His finger brushes mine as he takes the yellow scrubber from my hand and begins circling the ceramic fox-imprinted plate in gentle strokes. “Unless you’d rather I go chat with your husband. The choice is all yours.” Another wide grin.

  Shaking my head, I laugh a short burst. It’s just loud enough to draw eyes, and I immediately put a hand over my mouth. Uh-oh. My happiness is showing.

  “Something you care to share with everyone, or is it more of a private joke?” Adam asks.

 
Juliet smiles at me. I stutter for a second or two, let my eyes fall on the soapy bubbles on Leo’s thick forearms. My throat goes dry. Think on your toes, Kendall. Plates. Grass. “That time you were mowing the grass out back, Adam. Remember it kept stopping and shooting fire and it took twice as long to finish?”

  “And I asked how are lawnmowers like husbands?”

  There’s a pregnant pause. “How?” Juliet asks, finally cluing in.

  “They are difficult to get started and don’t work half the time,” Leo inserts. “Ba-da-bing! Am I right?”

  Juliet quirks one sculpted brow, lips straight. Adam raises both brows, horrified. “Wow. That’s a really bad joke. Is that what it’s taking these days? To get you to laugh?” Adam asks.

  “It was funny,” I say, feeling sweat break across my forehead. It’s so much work. This hiding and lying. “Guess you had to be in the moment,” I say, tone lower.

  “Guess so,” Adam returns.

  I dry the plates in the drying rack as soon as Leo finishes and put them away. A text message from my mom chimes, and I tap back a quick reply letting her know we were entertaining and I’ll call her later. While I’m tapping out the text, Juliet rounds the corner with Coal in her hands.

  “This was a bad idea. I’m sorry, friend,” she whispers, dropping a kiss on the kitten’s head. I lean over and do the same because I can’t resist the urge. “On the plus side, I think I’ve gotten a handle on everything going on here.” She waves her hand between us.

  “We have a therapy session tomorrow and I think I’d rather have the flu instead.”

  “They’re in Adam’s office with the door closed right now,” she says.

  I let my eyes flutter closed. A relief I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not for at least a minute or two. “We know Adam can’t kill him,” I say.

  Juliet fakes a laugh. “The other way around, sweetie. That’s what you should be worried about.” She pets Coal on the back and sets him on the ground. I scoop some food into his dish and focus on the menial task instead of the implications of what Juliet said. “Leo wants you.”

  “I’m his friend,” I say, swallowing. There’s no hiding from it when someone else sees it. Attraction. My legs shake a bit as I stand and face her. “That’s all we are.”

  Juliet lays her hands on my shoulders. “That man is not your friend. I see it. Adam sees it. You are the only one who doesn’t see it.”

  “If Adam sees it, why the hell is he still here?”

  Her eyes turn down in the corner. “You were the one who told me he’s the type of man who sees something through. Shit is rocky right now, right? Maybe he’s hoping that time proves a tincture and you’ll find your way back to him. Or…” Juliet closes her mouth.

  “Or what?”

  She sighs. “He’s waiting for you to jump ship. Think about it. Who the hell wants to be the bad guy? The one who left his grieving wife? Um. No thanks. He’s not stupid.”

  The second scenario is more likely, unfortunately. “What do you think they’re talking about?”

  “The weather,” she deadpans. “Kendall, they’re probably discussing you.”

  Coal finishes his meal like a slovenly pig, and I scoop him up and quietly approach the office door. After a beat or two of not hearing anything, I pound on it twice and turn the knob. “What are you talking about? I’m not okay with being excluded. Especially if you’re talking about me.”

  Adam glares. Leo smirks and breaks out into song. “You’re so vain, you probably think we’re talking without you, about you, don’t you?”

  Adam’s glare eases into a smirk, and I can’t help but smile. “You’re an ass, but seriously. This is so rude. We have guests.”

  Adam purses his lips. “Juliet hardly counts as a guest. Go hang out with your best friend. This is what you want, right? This friendship with Leo?” He waves a hand to Leo who is sitting in the old ratty leather chair in the corner. “We’re working on that.”

  “Sure. Of course.” No. I want to be friends with Leo. Just me. He’s mine.

  “Give me the kitten,” Leo extends both huge hands. “Aren’t they known to lower your blood pressure? Their purr or something?”

  Shaking my head, I hand the kitten over. He spins in a circle three times and folds himself into a ball in Leo’s lap. “I think you’re right, actually.” I’m careful not to meet Leo’s eyes when I back away. “We’re going to go make cocktails,” I say. “Don’t be too long.” I back out of the room.

  “Kendall,” Adam barks. I pop my head back in. “Make mine a double. And close the door.” I glare.

  “Please,” Leo adds.

  I do as I’m told only because Leo doesn’t seem fazed in the least about being shut in a room with my husband. Why would he? What could they possibly have to say to each other? How do men build foundations to friendships? It’s surely not how women do. Is it some weird, telepathic connection? Why would he want to lower his blood pressure if he wasn’t irritated or even pissed off at Adam? I don’t understand.

  “You’re not supposed to understand,” Juliet says, reading my mind. “I’m not sure you need another drink, though.”

  “Okay, Mom. Make Adam’s whiskey a double. Mine a triple.”

  “That’s a poor idea. One I won’t let you partake in. Sorry.” She shoves a bottle of water into my hand. “You’ll roll over and crush your cat. Think of how upset you’d be tomorrow if you smothered your own kitten.”

  “Why are you so weird? How are we friends?” I unscrew the top and take a long drink. She’s right. I need water. More of it. I drain it completely and crush the bottle when I’m finished. Juliet fixes the drinks and I pace the kitchen like a mad woman, hissing under my breath about why they’ve been in there so long.

  “Tomorrow at therapy, I think you need to be honest with him,” Juliet says. “You’ll have the buffer I know you feel like you need. I think you’d be surprised how well he takes it. You’ve basically been priming him for this for a while now.”

  I lean both elbows on the cold granite. “When you say honesty, what exactly am I telling him?”

  “Divorce. You’re in love with another man. Rather, you’ve only ever been in love with one man.”

  “That’s a lie. That’s not truth at all.” Hanging my head, I let my forehead rest on the counter, as well.

  Juliet coughs. “Which is a lie?”

  “I loved Adam.” I hear it the second it leaves my mouth. The lie.

  Juliet sets the made drinks on the counter. “You loved the idea of Adam when you applied him to family life. You were never in love with the man. Is that accurate?”

  He was so silent, I didn’t hear him open the door or walk down the short hallway. “Drinks?” Leo says, laying a hand softly on the back of my head. “Not that this one needs anymore to drink.” Juliet laughs nervously. How much did he hear? Where is Adam? God, we weren’t careful enough with our words and voices.

  “Adam went to the restroom,” Leo says. I rise from my standing fetal position.

  “What did you hear?” I hiss. Juliet grabs Adam’s drink and walks to hedge him off at the bathroom, giving me a side-eye as she passes me.

  “Kid,” Leo growls, narrowing his gorgeous eyes, “You’re asking the wrong questions, aren’t you? Shouldn’t you be asking what he heard?”

  I open my mouth to speak, then close it again. “He’s not a stealthy fucking SEAL sleuthing around when I don’t know it! He’s in the bathroom. You’re here!”

  “You don’t give him enough credit, Simmons.”

  “I’m Simmons now?”

  He raises his brows. “Yeah. Most definitely. Here you are.”

  Leo grabs a bottle of water. “I have to drive, I’ll take this for the road.”

  “You’re leaving?” Irrational panic washes over me.

  He sees it. “Kendall,” he whispers. “Walk me out.” He takes a step back, gaze locked on mine for another beat, and he turns away when Adam comes out, drink in hand. He looks
nonplussed for the most part, but he’s so keen on hiding his emotions these days I can’t be sure he’s unaffected by whatever conversation was just had. My heart is pounding, racing because I want to walk Leo out, but I don’t want to upset Adam any more than he is.

  “I’m taking off for the night. Thank you for your hospitality. It’s been a delightful evening. The food was amazing and the company was top notch.” Adam mutters a goodbye and shakes Leo’s hand. I don’t see where he goes next because I can’t tear my eyes from him.

  Leo strikes up a conversation with Juliet as he shrugs on his jacket and pulls on his winter hat. My panic blossoms into full-blown anxiety as I watch them banter about the stupid flu.

  “Walk him out,” Adam interjects—breaking the haze. Then he drains the rest of his double. “I have a quick email to get out.” He sets his glass down and heads back to his office.

  What? What is going on? Why doesn’t he care?

  I don’t dwell too long because Leo is already outside. I throw on the pair of fuzzy boots I keep by the door and a jacket and fly outside. Leo’s truck is parked on the dark side of the driveway so I have to squint in the darkness to see him. He’s leaning against the driver’s side door watching me approach. He drains the bottle of water in his hand and opens his truck door to toss the trash inside. “Thanks for coming over for dinner,” I say, my words blowing smoke in the frigid air.

  “It was enlightening, to say the least,” Leo returns.

  I sigh. “What did you talk to Adam about?”

  He shakes his head. I take a step closer. And another. I’ll never be close enough. When I can feel his body warmth, he pulls me into a hug. I take a deep breath and inhale. His soap. His clothes. His skin. Leo Callaway in one breath. The damage is collateral because I don’t just want his arms around my body and I’m admitting that.

  I slide my arms inside of his jacket and relish the feel of his muscles against my body—protecting me, shielding me from everything else. “Don’t go,” I say.

  “I’ll see you in the morning. We have class bright and early.”